Disappointment, Relief and Hopes for the Future.

12 Oct

We had planned that by this time next week we would be in the finishing touches for our 3 week grand tour with 5 days in London, 15 days on a transatlantic cruise with stops in France, Spain and Portugal, the Azores and Bermuda and ending in Ft Lauderdale with another 5 days down the Florida keys. Spending 4 hours in the Louvre may not have been enough but it did check boxes on our bucket list. Putting all of the pieces together had taken 3 months of research and decisions as well as advanced payments. By this time tomorrow I should wrap up going step by step with the cancellations for all parts of the trip.

My husband, Harry has had another stroke. It wasn’t as massive as the one he had 7 years ago but not a minor one as he had 5 months ago. Although he can still walk and talk about anything that doesn’t matter, he has lost the ability to say, print or sign his name. One minute he can reel off his birthday and the next he doesn’t know what month he was born in. He can’t say the days of the week nor does he know what town he lives in. We have been here before and I know that with hard work, he can regain a lot of it. I also know that that hard work must start today and continue through the next month. He can not afford the confusion of strange people and places. From a familiar home base he can focus on the things that are most vital. The grand trip was to start too soon. If we had another month, we could make it work but we don’t.

When I first told him I needed to cancel it, he was extremely disappointed. He is afraid that those items will stay on the bucket list. After explaining that I bought trip insurance for almost every step of the trip and that we should get 99.9% of our money back, he relaxed. We can plan a different trip or the same trip in reverse for next spring. The only item that won’t be refunded was the approximately $4.50 each for the bus transfer from Heathrow airport to our hotel in London. We can handle that. With his acceptance of the reality of our situation, I was also able to relax. I had spent the 36 hours he was in the hospital being worried about his general health but also worried about how I was going to handle taking him on a trip when he had no way to telling someone who he is or where he belongs. A friend kindly said that it would be like he was a mute but a mute knows that they have ID and where to find it. We aren’t there yet.

So as this day starts we are both disappointed with a since of relief that time is not a big pressure and hopes for the future. What more can we ask?

5 Responses to “Disappointment, Relief and Hopes for the Future.”

  1. Nancy October 12, 2013 at 9:07 AM #

    I wish you could bottle your “stay positive and move forward” way of seeing life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. You could be a gazillionaire. Please let your friends know what we can do.

    • compterteach October 12, 2013 at 10:13 AM #

      To be honest, I’m holding on my my fingernails. Don’t be too nice – I’ll loose it and start crying for far too many reasons. Hope to watch a stupid movie tonight and cry my eyes out. I know I’ll feel better.

  2. Janice Clark October 12, 2013 at 9:38 AM #

    I’m so sorry to hear of Harry’s stroke, but glad it didn’t happen while you were on your trip. It’s good that you are able to get most of your money back. I wish you and Harry the best as you focus on his recovery.

    • compterteach October 12, 2013 at 10:16 AM #

      Thank you. I’ll be honest, the fear that that would happen is always with me. If it did, I would follow his directive: give him aspirin and pretend it didn’t happen. I really should have done that this time but that is a whole new story.

  3. Suzy ball October 28, 2013 at 9:03 PM #

    I have been so busy I haven’t been reading posts…just caught up and am so sorry to hear about Harry’s strokes. Please know I think about you all the time, whether I write or not! Take Care and never stop the blog!

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